I am thank for you can spend your precious time reading my letter. The reason of writing this letter for me is today I find the message of recruiting about HR assistant on your companys website. I make insterested in this position and I want to apply for it.

　　Next I want to talk about my capability and experience for applying the job. I had been graduated from my university nearly one year. My major is English, but after finishing my university life, I worked in SN company and afforded the work of shop HR assistant.So I can skillfully operate the five object in human

　　resource:Salary,Recruitment,Trainging and so on. I can aslo skillfully operate the Word ,Excel and PPT. My deposition is outer and my ability of talking and communicating with somebody is great.

　　So I feel I alreadly fit for the needing of recruitng this position, if you give a chance for me trying it ,I will do my best in this positon. I would appreciate for the apply if you as soon as possibie. My contacted pnone number is 13757194566.

　　Yous sincerely

　　LiMing

　　2011,16th,October

　　考研英語作文批改點評如下：

　　Dear Miss Chen:(改成逗號)

　　I am thank for you can spend(thank you for spending) your precious time reading my letter. The reason of writing this letter for me(去掉，或者改成of me，建議去掉) is(加that，這里的that不能省略) today I find(應該用過去式，因為這個動作已經發生) the message of recruiting about HR assistant on your companys website. I make insterested(am interested) in this position and I want to apply for it.

　　Next I want to talk about my capability and experience for applying the job. I had been graduated from my university nearly one year. My major is English, but after finishing my university life, I worked in SN company(具體的某個公司的名稱，首字母要大寫)and afforded the work of shop HR assistant. So I can skillfully operate the five object(應該用復數) in human resource: Salary, Recruitment(r不用大寫), Trainging(training) and so on. I can aslo(拼寫錯誤also) skillfully operate the Word, Excel and PPT. My deposition is outer(這里要表達的是什么意思?) and my ability of talking and communicating with somebody is great.

　　So I feel I alreadly(拼寫錯誤，建議去掉這個詞) fit for the needing of recruitng(拼寫錯誤recruiting) this position, if you give a chance for me trying(to try或是of trying) it , I will do my best in this positon(拼寫錯誤，position). I would appreciate for the apply if you as soon as possibie(possible拼寫錯誤，從句結構不完整，沒有謂語動詞). My contacted pnone(拼寫錯誤，phone) number is 13757194566. 點評：4-5分要簡潔明了，第一段我在哪看到招聘信息，應聘什么職位。第二段我有什么學歷、什么工作經驗、什么個人秉性等。第三段期待你的回復。所有的內容要簡要說明就可以了，不是大作文，不要要寫的內容很多。表達方面有待加強，需要看一看句子結構句式的語法信息。

　　I am thank for you can spend your precious time reading my letter. The reason of writing this letter for me is today I find the message of recruiting about HR assistant on your companys website. I make insterested in this position and I want to apply for it.

　　Next I want to talk about my capability and experience for applying the job. I had been graduated from my university nearly one year. My major is English, but after finishing my university life, I worked in SN company and afforded the work of shop HR assistant.So I can skillfully operate the five object in human

　　resource:Salary,Recruitment,Trainging and so on. I can aslo skillfully operate the Word ,Excel and PPT. My deposition is outer and my ability of talking and communicating with somebody is great.

　　So I feel I alreadly fit for the needing of recruitng this position, if you give a chance for me trying it ,I will do my best in this positon. I would appreciate for the apply if you as soon as possibie. My contacted pnone number is 13757194566.

　　Yous sincerely

　　LiMing

　　2011,16th,October

　　考研英語作文批改點評如下：

　　Dear Miss Chen:(改成逗號)

　　I am thank for you can spend(thank you for spending) your precious time reading my letter. The reason of writing this letter for me(去掉，或者改成of me，建議去掉) is(加that，這里的that不能省略) today I find(應該用過去式，因為這個動作已經發生) the message of recruiting about HR assistant on your companys website. I make insterested(am interested) in this position and I want to apply for it.

　　Next I want to talk about my capability and experience for applying the job. I had been graduated from my university nearly one year. My major is English, but after finishing my university life, I worked in SN company(具體的某個公司的名稱，首字母要大寫)and afforded the work of shop HR assistant. So I can skillfully operate the five object(應該用復數) in human resource: Salary, Recruitment(r不用大寫), Trainging(training) and so on. I can aslo(拼寫錯誤also) skillfully operate the Word, Excel and PPT. My deposition is outer(這里要表達的是什么意思?) and my ability of talking and communicating with somebody is great.

　　So I feel I alreadly(拼寫錯誤，建議去掉這個詞) fit for the needing of recruitng(拼寫錯誤recruiting) this position, if you give a chance for me trying(to try或是of trying) it , I will do my best in this positon(拼寫錯誤，position). I would appreciate for the apply if you as soon as possibie(possible拼寫錯誤，從句結構不完整，沒有謂語動詞). My contacted pnone(拼寫錯誤，phone) number is 13757194566. 點評：4-5分要簡潔明了，第一段我在哪看到招聘信息，應聘什么職位。第二段我有什么學歷、什么工作經驗、什么個人秉性等。第三段期待你的回復。所有的內容要簡要說明就可以了，不是大作文，不要要寫的內容很多。表達方面有待加強，需要看一看句子結構句式的語法信息。