奇葩排行：2024年最沒用的“自助類”書籍
Reading is good! Sadly, most books are bad. Especially in the self-help genre, which encourages simplistic ideas dressed up to sound profound, inept writing, plus all sorts of gimmicks trotted out to push titles onto best-seller lists and keep them there as long as possible.
閱讀自然是好事。不盡如人意的是，大多數書都是雞肋，特別是那些“自助”流派的書，只是把些毫無深度的想法包裝一下，聽起來言之鑿鑿實卻空洞無用。這些教人華而不實技巧的書，還躋身了“最受歡迎書單”，這樣就能 “永垂不朽”？！
The Subtle Art of Not Giving a F*ck: A Counterintuitive Approach to Living a Good Life by Mark Manson
《不要對生活中的細枝末節太在意：不要隨大流就能過好的生活》 作者：Mark Manson
Says the guy who wrote a fucking book and put an asterisk in the word "fuck."
然而作者本人卻寫了一整本的細枝末節，還把關鍵詞“fuck”加上了星號。
Think Better, Live Better: A Victorious Life Begins in Your Mind by Joel Osteen
《學會思考，生活更美好：人生贏家從改變思想開始》 作者：Joel Osteen
[Inspirational megachurch voice]: All you gotta do to LIVE better… is THINK better! [Woman collapses on stage, is healed]
（想象教會中那種激勵人心的聲音）：你想要生活得更好... 那就是要學會思考。（女人們在舞臺上摔倒，然后被治好了）
The Universe Has Your Back: Transform Fear to Faith by Gabrielle Bernstein.
《全宇宙都是你的靠山：將畏懼轉化信念》 作者：Gabrielle Bernstein
Oh, well if you're on The Universe's list, step right on in, there's loads of trust fund money and mimosas by the pool on your left.
好吧，如果你在宇宙的清單上，請上前一步，在你的左手邊的泳池邊有一大堆信托基金和橙味香檳酒。
Designing Your Life: How to Build a Well-Lived, Joyful Life by Bill Burnett and Dave Evans
《設計你的生活：怎樣生活得更美好、更愉快》 作者：Bill Burnett, Dave Evans共同編寫
Life is nice, but the user experience leaves something to be desired. This book is the poor man's version of "learn to code," and is based on a Stanford class, so it must be good.
生活挺好的，只是需要做點用戶體驗層面的優化。這本書就是窮人版的“學會編碼”，而且還是基于斯坦福的一門課程，所以肯定是本好書對不對？
You are a Badass: A totally inappropriate self-affirming adult coloring book (Volume 2) by Jen Sincero
《你是一個混蛋：一本自我肯定到完全不合時宜的成人涂色書（卷二》）作者：Jen Sincero
No, you're an adult who bought a coloring book. Though "totally inappropriate" is unintentionally accurate.
不，你是一個成年人，卻買了本涂色書?！巴耆缓线m”這樣無意的措辭正好描述購買這本書的的成年人。
Pre-Suasion: A Revolutionary Way to Influence and Persuade by Robert Cialdini
《如何說服：用革命性的新方法來影響和說服別人》 作者:Robert Cialdin
Apparently the secret to persuading someone of something, anything, is the critical moment before you start your pitch. Oh. Who knew? No joke: The Amazon blurb says you can use these techniques for "online marketing campaigns and even effective wartime propaganda." Goebbels says, "I love this book!"
很顯然，在開始你的說教之前，要說服誰，說服的時機是至關重要的。好吧，誰知道呢？講真：亞馬遜在宣傳上說，本書中的技巧不但可以用于線上的營銷，甚至在戰爭期間也能用來搞演說。戈培爾（德國納粹時期演說家）說：“我愛這本書”
Radical Beauty: How to Transform Yourself from the Inside Out by Deepak Chopra and Kimberly Snyder
《你本來就很美：讓你由內而外的蛻變》 作者：Deepak Chopra , Kimberly Snyder 共同編寫
Welp, Deepak Chopra's writing about beauty now. Somebody has to stop this guy, he's printing money with all the pseudo-scientific bullshit he puts his name on these days.
天啊，Deepak 還開始寫關于美的話題了。這年頭，他用偽科學跟胡言亂語騙錢，還自己冠名，哪位仁兄快阻止他！
The Seventh Sense: Power, Fortune, and Survival in the Age of Networks by Joshua Cooper Ramo
《第七感：網絡時代的權利、財富和生存》 作者Joshua Cooper Ramo
Sooooo this book promises to reveal why terrorists are successful? And also investors? And CEOs and generals? Turns out these people can see and feel "networks." Huh. Spoiler: This book also reveals that Bruce Willis has been alive the whole time.
所以這本書會揭示恐怖主義為什么會陰謀得逞？還有投資者們、CEO們、領導人們？這本書告訴我們，上述這些人可以感知“網絡”。劇透：這本書還會告訴我們布魯斯?威利斯一直都活著
Hustle: The Power to Charge Your Life with Money, Meaning, and Momentum by Neil Patel, Patrick Vlaskovits, and Jonas Koffler
《拼命掙錢：用金錢、意義與動力來為你的人生充電》 作者：Neil Patel, Patrick Vlaskovits, Jonas Koffler.
Self-help and get-rich-quick schemes are inextricably linked.
自助總是毫無懸念地和快速致富聯系在一起。
Shaken: Discovering Your True Identity in the Midst of Life's Storms by Tim Tebow
《動搖：在生活的風暴中發現真實的自己》 作者：Tim Tebow
Technically not self-help, but aren't all Tim Tebow books some kind of self-help? And how are there MULTIPLE Tim Tebow books?
從技術角度來說，這本不屬于“自助”范疇，不過不是所有的Tim Tebow書都是自助系列么？怎么會有這么多的Tim Tebow 的書？（橄欖球四分衛，水果姐前男友）
Spark Joy: An Illustrated Master Class on the Art of Organizing and Tidying Up by Marie Kondo《Spark Joy》
《整理清潔之術，大師級實操展示》 作者：Marie Kondo
The author of The Life-Changing Magic of Tidying Up offers an illustrated guide for those readers left confused by the "don't keep so much freaking stuff" message of her revolutionary first title.
作者之前寫過《怦然心動的人生整理魔法》，但那本書是告訴讀者不要買那么多東西，讀者們真的很費解，于是現在她出了本帶圖的指南。
TED Talks: The Official TED Guide to Public Speaking by Chris Anderson
《TED 演講：TED公共演講官方指南》 作者：Chris Anderson
Haven't we had enough TED Talks?
難道我們的TED演講還不夠多么？
It's All Easy: Delicious Weekday Recipes for the Super-Busy Home Cook by Gwyneth Paltrow
《這一切都很簡單：給那些超忙家庭的居家食譜，工作日也能吃到的美餐》
OK, this is actually a pretty good troll.
好吧這確實是非常的有用處。
Self Made: Becoming Empowered, Self-Reliant, and Rich in Every Way by Nely Galán
《自己動手：讓你變得干勁滿滿、自立根生、盆滿缽滿》
"For readers of #GIRLBOSS and viewers of Shark Tank." Yikes. "Rich in every way" mostly means "rich in money," if you couldn't guess.
對于那些《年輕女老板》的讀者和《真人秀：創智贏家》的觀眾來說，呀，各個方面的“富有”就是指“金錢上的富有”，這個應該沒人猜不出來。
The Sustainable Edge: 15 Minutes a Week to a Richer Entrepreneurial Life by Ron Carson and Scott Ford
《可持續的優勢：每周15分鐘變成更加富有的企業家》 作者：Ron Carson, Scott Ford
There's "rich" again. In just 15 minutes!
“致富”又來了，只要15分鐘哦！
Sprint: How to Solve Big Problems and Test New Ideas in Just Five Days by Jake Knapp, John Zeratsky, and Braden Kowitz
《沖刺：5天內教你解決大問題，驗證新想法》 作者：Jake Knapp, John Zeratsky, and Braden Kowitz
Fantastic, I look forward to hearing about the resolution to Hilbert's eighth problem. This book was written by three dudes. Excuse me, three PARTNERS AT GOOGLE VENTURES.
太棒了，我正好洗耳恭聽希爾伯特第八個問題的解答。這本書的作者有3個家伙，啊不好意思，是3個谷歌風投的合伙人。
The Power of Broke: How Empty Pockets, a Tight Budget, and a Hunger for Success Can Become Your Greatest Competitive Advantage by Daymond John
《破產的力量：囊中羞澀、預算緊縮、急于求成，都可以成為成就你成功的最大優勢》 作者：Daymond John
It must not be THAT powerful, because this book is about becoming and staying rich.
也沒有那么“有力量”吧，因為這本書還是在教你擺脫貧窮。
The Code of the Extraordinary Mind: 10 Unconventional Laws to Redefine Your Life and Succeed on Your Own Terms by Vishen Lakhiani
《解密最強大腦：10條打破常規的法則，重新定義你的生活，實現個人成功》 作者：Vishen Lakhiani
Praise must be heaped on "personal growth entrepreneur" Vishen Lakhiani for creating the Platonic ideal of a self-help book in 2024. This one has it all: a call-out to "coding," hints at disruption, an appeal to the unconventional in the relentlessly banal, the steadfast belief that someone reading a self-help book truly can make his mind extraordinary, "laws," references to both "evolutionary biology" and "modern spirituality," reliance on "computational thinking," and, of course, success, which means money. This book is a green juice at a sober dance party hosted by Snapchat sponsored by UNIQLO and DJed by Avicii, that's how zeitgeisty it is.
“個人成長企業家”Vishen Lakhiani 書中所創造的柏拉圖式理想應該在2024年的自助書界備受贊譽。它具備（“自助”流派書的）所有特質：“解密”，暗示著秘密解開，從傳統平庸中解脫出來，對于那些執迷“自助”書籍的讀者有著魔力，他們認定通過閱讀此書必能讓他們的大腦變得無與倫比?！岸伞庇兄斑M化生物學”和“現代精神”結合之意，基于“計算思維”，當然，還有成功意味著有錢。該書就像由快拍主持，優衣庫贊助，艾維奇擔任DJ的清醒舞會上的一杯綠色果汁。
Reading is good! Sadly, most books are bad. Especially in the self-help genre, which encourages simplistic ideas dressed up to sound profound, inept writing, plus all sorts of gimmicks trotted out to push titles onto best-seller lists and keep them there as long as possible.
閱讀自然是好事。不盡如人意的是，大多數書都是雞肋，特別是那些“自助”流派的書，只是把些毫無深度的想法包裝一下，聽起來言之鑿鑿實卻空洞無用。這些教人華而不實技巧的書，還躋身了“最受歡迎書單”，這樣就能 “永垂不朽”？！
The Subtle Art of Not Giving a F*ck: A Counterintuitive Approach to Living a Good Life by Mark Manson
《不要對生活中的細枝末節太在意：不要隨大流就能過好的生活》 作者：Mark Manson
Says the guy who wrote a fucking book and put an asterisk in the word "fuck."
然而作者本人卻寫了一整本的細枝末節，還把關鍵詞“fuck”加上了星號。
Think Better, Live Better: A Victorious Life Begins in Your Mind by Joel Osteen
《學會思考，生活更美好：人生贏家從改變思想開始》 作者：Joel Osteen
[Inspirational megachurch voice]: All you gotta do to LIVE better… is THINK better! [Woman collapses on stage, is healed]
（想象教會中那種激勵人心的聲音）：你想要生活得更好... 那就是要學會思考。（女人們在舞臺上摔倒，然后被治好了）
The Universe Has Your Back: Transform Fear to Faith by Gabrielle Bernstein.
《全宇宙都是你的靠山：將畏懼轉化信念》 作者：Gabrielle Bernstein
Oh, well if you're on The Universe's list, step right on in, there's loads of trust fund money and mimosas by the pool on your left.
好吧，如果你在宇宙的清單上，請上前一步，在你的左手邊的泳池邊有一大堆信托基金和橙味香檳酒。
Designing Your Life: How to Build a Well-Lived, Joyful Life by Bill Burnett and Dave Evans
《設計你的生活：怎樣生活得更美好、更愉快》 作者：Bill Burnett, Dave Evans共同編寫
Life is nice, but the user experience leaves something to be desired. This book is the poor man's version of "learn to code," and is based on a Stanford class, so it must be good.
生活挺好的，只是需要做點用戶體驗層面的優化。這本書就是窮人版的“學會編碼”，而且還是基于斯坦福的一門課程，所以肯定是本好書對不對？
You are a Badass: A totally inappropriate self-affirming adult coloring book (Volume 2) by Jen Sincero
《你是一個混蛋：一本自我肯定到完全不合時宜的成人涂色書（卷二》）作者：Jen Sincero
No, you're an adult who bought a coloring book. Though "totally inappropriate" is unintentionally accurate.
不，你是一個成年人，卻買了本涂色書?！巴耆缓线m”這樣無意的措辭正好描述購買這本書的的成年人。
Pre-Suasion: A Revolutionary Way to Influence and Persuade by Robert Cialdini
《如何說服：用革命性的新方法來影響和說服別人》 作者:Robert Cialdin
Apparently the secret to persuading someone of something, anything, is the critical moment before you start your pitch. Oh. Who knew? No joke: The Amazon blurb says you can use these techniques for "online marketing campaigns and even effective wartime propaganda." Goebbels says, "I love this book!"
很顯然，在開始你的說教之前，要說服誰，說服的時機是至關重要的。好吧，誰知道呢？講真：亞馬遜在宣傳上說，本書中的技巧不但可以用于線上的營銷，甚至在戰爭期間也能用來搞演說。戈培爾（德國納粹時期演說家）說：“我愛這本書”
Radical Beauty: How to Transform Yourself from the Inside Out by Deepak Chopra and Kimberly Snyder
《你本來就很美：讓你由內而外的蛻變》 作者：Deepak Chopra , Kimberly Snyder 共同編寫
Welp, Deepak Chopra's writing about beauty now. Somebody has to stop this guy, he's printing money with all the pseudo-scientific bullshit he puts his name on these days.
天啊，Deepak 還開始寫關于美的話題了。這年頭，他用偽科學跟胡言亂語騙錢，還自己冠名，哪位仁兄快阻止他！
The Seventh Sense: Power, Fortune, and Survival in the Age of Networks by Joshua Cooper Ramo
《第七感：網絡時代的權利、財富和生存》 作者Joshua Cooper Ramo
Sooooo this book promises to reveal why terrorists are successful? And also investors? And CEOs and generals? Turns out these people can see and feel "networks." Huh. Spoiler: This book also reveals that Bruce Willis has been alive the whole time.
所以這本書會揭示恐怖主義為什么會陰謀得逞？還有投資者們、CEO們、領導人們？這本書告訴我們，上述這些人可以感知“網絡”。劇透：這本書還會告訴我們布魯斯?威利斯一直都活著
Hustle: The Power to Charge Your Life with Money, Meaning, and Momentum by Neil Patel, Patrick Vlaskovits, and Jonas Koffler
《拼命掙錢：用金錢、意義與動力來為你的人生充電》 作者：Neil Patel, Patrick Vlaskovits, Jonas Koffler.
Self-help and get-rich-quick schemes are inextricably linked.
自助總是毫無懸念地和快速致富聯系在一起。
Shaken: Discovering Your True Identity in the Midst of Life's Storms by Tim Tebow
《動搖：在生活的風暴中發現真實的自己》 作者：Tim Tebow
Technically not self-help, but aren't all Tim Tebow books some kind of self-help? And how are there MULTIPLE Tim Tebow books?
從技術角度來說，這本不屬于“自助”范疇，不過不是所有的Tim Tebow書都是自助系列么？怎么會有這么多的Tim Tebow 的書？（橄欖球四分衛，水果姐前男友）
Spark Joy: An Illustrated Master Class on the Art of Organizing and Tidying Up by Marie Kondo《Spark Joy》
《整理清潔之術，大師級實操展示》 作者：Marie Kondo
The author of The Life-Changing Magic of Tidying Up offers an illustrated guide for those readers left confused by the "don't keep so much freaking stuff" message of her revolutionary first title.
作者之前寫過《怦然心動的人生整理魔法》，但那本書是告訴讀者不要買那么多東西，讀者們真的很費解，于是現在她出了本帶圖的指南。
TED Talks: The Official TED Guide to Public Speaking by Chris Anderson
《TED 演講：TED公共演講官方指南》 作者：Chris Anderson
Haven't we had enough TED Talks?
難道我們的TED演講還不夠多么？
It's All Easy: Delicious Weekday Recipes for the Super-Busy Home Cook by Gwyneth Paltrow
《這一切都很簡單：給那些超忙家庭的居家食譜，工作日也能吃到的美餐》
OK, this is actually a pretty good troll.
好吧這確實是非常的有用處。
Self Made: Becoming Empowered, Self-Reliant, and Rich in Every Way by Nely Galán
《自己動手：讓你變得干勁滿滿、自立根生、盆滿缽滿》
"For readers of #GIRLBOSS and viewers of Shark Tank." Yikes. "Rich in every way" mostly means "rich in money," if you couldn't guess.
對于那些《年輕女老板》的讀者和《真人秀：創智贏家》的觀眾來說，呀，各個方面的“富有”就是指“金錢上的富有”，這個應該沒人猜不出來。
The Sustainable Edge: 15 Minutes a Week to a Richer Entrepreneurial Life by Ron Carson and Scott Ford
《可持續的優勢：每周15分鐘變成更加富有的企業家》 作者：Ron Carson, Scott Ford
There's "rich" again. In just 15 minutes!
“致富”又來了，只要15分鐘哦！
Sprint: How to Solve Big Problems and Test New Ideas in Just Five Days by Jake Knapp, John Zeratsky, and Braden Kowitz
《沖刺：5天內教你解決大問題，驗證新想法》 作者：Jake Knapp, John Zeratsky, and Braden Kowitz
Fantastic, I look forward to hearing about the resolution to Hilbert's eighth problem. This book was written by three dudes. Excuse me, three PARTNERS AT GOOGLE VENTURES.
太棒了，我正好洗耳恭聽希爾伯特第八個問題的解答。這本書的作者有3個家伙，啊不好意思，是3個谷歌風投的合伙人。
The Power of Broke: How Empty Pockets, a Tight Budget, and a Hunger for Success Can Become Your Greatest Competitive Advantage by Daymond John
《破產的力量：囊中羞澀、預算緊縮、急于求成，都可以成為成就你成功的最大優勢》 作者：Daymond John
It must not be THAT powerful, because this book is about becoming and staying rich.
也沒有那么“有力量”吧，因為這本書還是在教你擺脫貧窮。
The Code of the Extraordinary Mind: 10 Unconventional Laws to Redefine Your Life and Succeed on Your Own Terms by Vishen Lakhiani
《解密最強大腦：10條打破常規的法則，重新定義你的生活，實現個人成功》 作者：Vishen Lakhiani
Praise must be heaped on "personal growth entrepreneur" Vishen Lakhiani for creating the Platonic ideal of a self-help book in 2024. This one has it all: a call-out to "coding," hints at disruption, an appeal to the unconventional in the relentlessly banal, the steadfast belief that someone reading a self-help book truly can make his mind extraordinary, "laws," references to both "evolutionary biology" and "modern spirituality," reliance on "computational thinking," and, of course, success, which means money. This book is a green juice at a sober dance party hosted by Snapchat sponsored by UNIQLO and DJed by Avicii, that's how zeitgeisty it is.
“個人成長企業家”Vishen Lakhiani 書中所創造的柏拉圖式理想應該在2024年的自助書界備受贊譽。它具備（“自助”流派書的）所有特質：“解密”，暗示著秘密解開，從傳統平庸中解脫出來，對于那些執迷“自助”書籍的讀者有著魔力，他們認定通過閱讀此書必能讓他們的大腦變得無與倫比?！岸伞庇兄斑M化生物學”和“現代精神”結合之意，基于“計算思維”，當然，還有成功意味著有錢。該書就像由快拍主持，優衣庫贊助，艾維奇擔任DJ的清醒舞會上的一杯綠色果汁。
